I will come to your house today with a briefcase full of cash money.
— Zack Pays Cash
You think I'm full of shit? Call me and let me prove it to you.
What I Do
I buy houses in any condition for a fair price, so you can pay off your mortgage and go rent a piece of shit house in Safety Harbor or some other shitty neighborhood.
Home Buying
I buy piece of shit houses regardless of how shitty they really are. I will come to your house with a load of cash to help you get out of the bull shit mortgage you signed off on.
Investing
I invest in shitty companies and real estate projects for the hell of it. It’s like going to the casino, but the odds are a little better. Yes, I lose my ass once in a while, but I’m rich as fuck so who cares.
Remodeling
I own a contracting business that remodels shitty houses, so some ass hole will buy your once roach motel for 20% over asking price in today’s inflated ass real estate market.
Success Stories
Here are some success stories from some of the ass holes I have worked with over the past few years. I know I’m sort of an ass hole, but I do a lot for my clients and they love me.
Steven Smith
— Wannabe Entrepreneur
Before I met Zack I didn’t know how I was going to get out of the piece of shit house I bought from my father in law. He came through in the clutch with a briefcase full of cash and now I’m renting a shitty apartment in Channelside.
Elizabeth Danks
— OnlyFans Content Creator
I blow random dudes on OnlyFans for a living, so I know a good guy when I see one. Zack saved me from foreclosure when he bought my trap house down in South St Pete. Thank you so much Zack!
I will show you how to sell your house fast.
Whether I buy your piece of shit house or not, I can help you sell your house fast. Contact me today to discuss your options.